


Cheesed Off

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-04-13
Updated: 2004-04-13
Packaged: 2019-05-15 05:18:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14784263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Ever wonder why you've never seen Josh meeting with the Cheese Day common folk?





	Cheesed Off

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Cheesed Off**

**by:** Beth Green

**Character(s):** Josh; Leo; Sam  
**Category(s):** General   
**Rating:** CHILD  
**Summary:** Ever wonder why you've never seen Josh meeting with the Cheese Day common folk?  
**Author's Note:** This is kind of a missing scene set somewhere in the first season. The issues mentioned by Josh are all true and are all courtesy of the United States Congress.  
**Disclaimer:** The new & improved v. 4.0

WARNING: Any resemblance to persons living or dead in this story is purely coincidental. (Yeah, right!) No animals were harmed in the writing of this fic.  However, the same may not be true of the fictional characters.  Contents under pressure.  Not recommended for persons with sugar-restricted diets.  Fat free; the calories, you have to pay for.  No preservatives added.  Shake well before using.  All rights reserved; the lefts, I may consider sharing.  May cause drowsiness.  Allergy alert: not recommended for those afflicted with insensitivity.  Return for refund where applicable.  Not labeled for individual sale.  Caution: this product has caused some laboratory rats to leap tall buildings in a single bound faster than the human eye can see.  Not recommended for children under two years of age.  May cause irritability or insomnia with prolonged use.  Do not remove under penalty of law.  So there.  


*****

The morning meeting of the members of the White House Senior Staff was speeding along at its usual pace as Leo called on each member in turn for his or her contribution.  Just when everyone was breathing a sigh of relief that the meeting was over, Leo spoke.

"One more thing.  Next week Tuesday, I have decided to open the doors of this White House to those whose voices under ordinary circumstances would not have a chance to be heard."  Leo chose to ignore the signs of discontent that appeared on every face in the room.  He frowned at the offending members of the President's staff before he continued.  "After the success of our first Big Block of Cheese Day, I hereby declare that it is time for us to once again make ourselves accessible to the common man.  Therefore, next Tuesday will be set aside as our second Big Block of Cheese Day."  A collective groan rose from the members of the senior staff at Leo's enthusiastic announcement.

Josh bowed his head, running a hand over his face to smooth out the creases that suddenly appeared.  He muttered loud enough to be overheard: "Please, God, no."

Leo stared at his Deputy Chief of Staff.  "Josh, is there something you'd like to share with the rest of the class?"

Josh returned Leo's stare with an indignant glare of his own.  "You might think that I'd be offended by your unsubtle reference to childish behavior.  I guarantee you, without a doubt, that that is the least of what I find to be offensive.  We've just spent the past hour going over a list of things that need to be attended to sooner rather than later, without mentioning how we're going to find the time to get it all done.  I don't need to point out how many hours this is going to add to our insanely busy schedules.  No, what offends me is the idea of inviting lunatics from outside the White House to join the hordes of crackpots who are already firmly entrenched within this government."

Leo's eyes narrowed at Josh's rant.  He interrupted, "I hope that you were including yourself in the group when you referred to the so-called 'government crackpots.'."

Josh shook his head in denial.  "Was it me who attached an amendment to the transportation bill allocating $15 million dollars to build a road to a goldmine in Alaska?"  His voice raised in volume and shrillness as he continued.  "Did I agree to give the Mississippi Corps of Engineers $15 million dollars to spend on draining land for cotton crops, which will result in the destruction of 200,000 acres of irreplaceable wetlands?  Did I authorize $1 million dollars for a sampling study of bear DNA in Montana?"

Leo tried to interrupt Josh's tirade, but the younger man was too worked up to notice.  Josh flung up his hands in disgust as he questioned, "Did I guarantee $1.1 billion dollars in loans to the Mississippi Port Authority to build cruise ships that don't stand a chance in hell of ever being completed?"  Josh quickly surveyed the room, assessing his audience's reaction to his words.  He saw expressions that ranged from astonishment to appalled disbelief to anger, the latter from Leo.  Josh took a calming breath, realizing that he may have over-reacted a bit.  He already knew the answer, but he had to ask: "Did I just go too far?"

Josh was answered by a slow nod from Leo.  The Chief of Staff stated, "Despite Josh's objection, we will proceed with the second Big Block of Cheese day next Tuesday.  Anything else?  No?  Okay, we're done."  The staff members headed for the exit.  Before Josh took more than half a step, Leo called, "Josh, except you.  We're not done."

Josh waited until the last of his friends left the room before he turned to face Leo.  The younger man began to apologize.  "About what I said before, I'm sorry."  Josh quickly corrected himself.  "No, that's not true.  I'm not sorry that I said it.  I am sorry about the forum that I chose to say it in.  It's just that I'm doing everything I can to squeeze out a million here for education, a million there for health care reform.  For every dollar that I manage to get legislated toward something essential, some idiot Congressman has to assign a matching dollar to some pork barrel pet project for olive fruitfly research or construction of a swimming pool."

"Some days it's all I can do to handle the craziness on the Hill without going postal."  Josh looked at Leo with a desperate plea in his eyes and voice.  "Please don't ask me to take on any more."

Leo sighed.  "I suppose I can justify taking you off the Cheese Day roster so that you can spend more time working with the idiots in Congress.  It sounds like a pretty fair tradeoff."  Leo frowned at the smile that Josh could not quite hide.  He shook an admonishing finger at his deputy.  "That does not by any stretch of the imagination give you permission to mock, denigrate, belittle, or otherwise scoff at your fellow citizens on Big Block of Cheese Day.  If you are even remotely tempted to do so, remember that I have it within my power to assign you as the sole and permanent staff member for any and all future Cheese Days."  Leo leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest.  He waited a minute to let Josh meditate upon his words.  Once he saw Josh begin to fidget nervously, he stated, "You can go."

Leo nodded to himself, pleased at his solution to a problem.  During the first Big Block of Cheese Day, Leo had noted a disturbingly dismissive attitude on the part of his Deputy toward those petitioners sent to his office.  Leo did not want to have Josh participate this time around for that very reason.  However, he did not want to give Josh the impression that his bad attitude resulted in the reward of being spared from participating in Leo's project.  Fortunately Josh had provided a legitimate excuse for Leo to remove him from the roster, without giving Josh reason to think that his bad behavior was somehow being rewarded.  Yes, all in all it was a good day's work.

****

Sam had waited around for Josh to exit Leo's office.  He fully expected that his friend would be in desperate need of cheering up.  

Instead, Josh raised his hand for a high five.  "Congratulate me."  

Sam raised his own hand and obligingly smacked it against Josh's.  "Okay, congratulations.  Now can you explain why it is I'm offering you congratulations instead of condolences?"

Josh smiled an ear-to-ear grin.  "Guess who's not participating in Big Block of Cheese Day?"

Sam stopped and stared.  The disbelief he was feeling was evident in his voice.  "You?"

Josh nodded happily.

Sam's voice rose in pitch as he repeated, "You?  After you insulted Leo's favorite charitable act, he rewarded you by not making you participate?"

Josh nodded enthusiastically, his smile firmly in place.  "Yeah."

Sam began a steady litany of complaint.  "Like a good little White House staffer, I'm quiet, I don't cause trouble, and what do I get?  Cheese Day.  I don't understand."

Josh patted Sam's back.  "That's okay.  I'm number one.  I rule.  I am the master manipulator."

Sam shook his head.  "And I am cheesed off."

*****

~end


End file.
